Making time for your partner after baby
The arrival of your newest little one is an adjustment for the whole family. Suddenly your old routine gets completely flipped around by a small, sweet, snuggly baby. When it comes to romance, a new baby can actually be a great time for you and your partner to work on ways to incite romance after baby.
Talk About It
You’ve heard it before, but communication truly is key in relationships. Before baby comes, have the discussion with your partner about how you want to continue making time for them post-baby. Brainstorm some ideas that will work for you, and think through ways you can both try them when the baby gets here. If that ship has already sailed, you can still bring it up to your partner. Every couple is different, and so are solutions for finding time for romance after baby arrives.
You can bridge the conversation with things like, “how can we spend some more time romantic together?” and “let’s find a way to incorporate romance again.”
Avoid phrases like “I need you to give me more attention” or “why aren’t we romantic anymore?”. These can incite feelings of guilt and resentment in your partner. Rest assured that every couple has their period of adjustment to find new expressions of romance after baby that work for them.
Stick to the Plan
If you and your partner make plans to spend time together, at times it is going to be tempting to cancel. Things come up, it’s hard to leave the house and making time for each other takes more work than it used to. However, you need follow through, and show each other that spending quality time is important. Your relationship and well-being will benefit from the investment.
Short and Sweet
In the first few months and weeks, romance after baby can be extremely hard to achieve. Plan activities that take you and your partner out of the house for small increments of time. Taking the baby for a walk in the stroller during her nap time is a great way to check in and chat with your spouse. Enjoying a cup of coffee or a glass of wine is also a great way to reconnect without being away for too long. Take up your relatives on the offer to babysit, or hire a sitter for an hour and half. Romance after baby doesn’t have to mean dinner and a long movie.
5 Minutes a Day
Try incorporating the 5 minutes a day rule. For just 5 minutes each day, sit down and check in with your partner. Try to be completely present and listen when they speak. Use this time to speak up about any thing that’s on your mind, or even to plan your next date night. Try to do this when the baby is asleep so your attention isn’t diverted. Everyone can fit in 5 minutes of romance after baby.
Is there a little something that you did for your partner pre-baby that you can bring back now? They will appreciate the thoughtfulness and reminder of the love you strongly share. Write a post-it note, give a five minute shoulder massage, cook dinner, call for no reason. It’s the little things that truly count when it comes to romance after baby.