Guest Written By: Laura Kyttanen
Instagram: @laurakyttanen & @ladybossmamas
Blog: www.laurakyttanen.com
4 Tips for Effectively Handling New Beginnings Through Motherhood
Just like most first-time moms, I was completely unprepared for the changes that would rock my world after the baby arrived. I am not just talking about the physical adjustments, but the mental ones too. There aren’t any books that you can read or friends you can ask what to expect, because the reality is every situation is different and you are the one experiencing it, with all your strengths and weaknesses. In fact, it wasn’t until my head was able to come up for air, that I realized how much I underestimated the strong mindset and inner work required, especially pertaining to your identity, to get through the first few months.
If I were to rewind back to before the birth of my son, I would see a woman who thought she had it all under control. I read all the books, like “What to expect when expecting,” continued working out regularly, took the tour at the hospital and the free birthing class, I had his room all decorated, his clothes cleaned, car seat installed in the car, a free breast pump from insurance, a detailed labor plan, my hospital bag packed and everything else you are supposed to do to prepare for the baby’s arrival. I even went to a maiden mother’s circle regularly to hear other women’s labor stories so I would be mentally prepared to expect the unexpected. The only thing we didn’t have nailed down was his name.
Fast forward to a few months after the birth of our son, Aiden, I found myself totally out of control having a complete breakdown.
Despite having a long labor and third-degree tears, I started working the day after I was discharged from the hospital; answering emails, taking phone calls from clients and planning social posts. I guess you could say I was trying to operate under the “what has really changed” mindset, determined to keep my career afloat while adjusting to the newness of motherhood. Yet, I was constantly torn between my new mama responsibilities and being able to get my work done. On top of that, I had only been married for about a year, an entrepreneur for a little longer than that and my husband and I were trying to figure out how to work together in his new venture. Overall, a lot of new beginnings were happening all at once which created fear, limiting beliefs and overwhelm.
I kept hearing the same question in my head repeatedly – “What if I wasn’t cut out for any of this?”
I knew deep down that in order to get through this, I would need to find a way to master the mind.
@LauraKyttanen and her babe-
to- be in love & comfort
Here are the 4 steps I took that can help any mama who desires to effectively handle the challenges of new beginnings through motherhood:
- Talk to others who have been in my shoes - to gain inspiration and learn how they handled juggling it all. For me, this led to discovering my life’s purpose and creating the ‘Lady Boss Mamas’ organization.
- Make time for myself – meditation, yoga, eating clean, reading books on subjects I felt insecure about, taking long walks on the beach, having dedicated down time from work, etc.
- Surrender – let go of perfectionism and control. Learn to be more present and focus on finding my balance. Try not to compare myself to others. Be okay with failure. Get back up and try again.
- Invest in a spiritual coach – do the deep inner work that can help reprogram your subconscious thoughts and release patterns that inhibit living a happy, fulfilled life.
As I prepare for our next child, a baby girl expected at the end of May, I am grateful for the growth I have experienced over the last two and a half years since having my first baby. I know this offers me a new chance to experience becoming a mother with more grace and ease and a lot less control. Hey, I even planned a maternity leave to allow myself the time and space to just breathe, which I didn’t have before!
Still, for those challenging moments, which undoubtedly will happen, I am extremely thankful for this beautiful “Penelope the Poodle” cashmere blanket and the story it comes with, to serve as a reminder that there is nothing to fear about starting something new.
Laura Kyttanen is on a mission to empower as many ladies possible to follow their passions around motherhood. She founded Lady Boss Mamas, an organization which offers free resources, tips and programs mama entrepreneurs can invest in to master their mind and level up their business. Laura is also a business and branding consultant specializing in transformation, building culture and sensory marketing. She lives in Los Angeles with her Finnish husband, toddler son, warrior cat and soon a baby girl. Laura loves writing blogs, meeting new people, healthy living (minus her current donut craving), being outdoors and traveling.