By Naomi L. Klein
Our 5 Love Languages…
Imagination, Confidence, Hugs and Kisses, Unconditional Love/Acceptance, and Laughter!
August 24th, 2017
On the operating table, my OB told me I’d be meeting my son in about two minutes. What are you supposed to say? Cool? Sounds good? Need any help?! *Cue Miranda from Sex And The City* but with a proper blowout and a fresh mani/pedi of course.
While I had a great perspective being pregnant, becoming a mother and delivering a baby was something I mentally missed prepping for. In fact, I didn’t even realize what the delivery process could be like until the day before I delivered. Though pressured by everyone, I never felt the need to take any birthing classes, or any breastfeeding classes, so I didn’t. I didn’t want to depend on someone else’s experience to shape mine.
I took hikes at Runyon (yes that was me with the belly and hot pink short shorts!), I took prenatal yoga, and I took phone calls from clients. I continued to show my clients homes up until three days before he was born and closed a real estate transaction the day of delivery! I had the instinctive confidence to trust the process, the unconditional love and acceptance of what was to be and imagined a seamless birth.
TWO MINUTES CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING!
In the next two minutes, a confident and calm anticipation set in. So calm in fact my doula told me she’s never seen someone so calm. Having access to the best doctors in the world, all the prenatal tests saw his 10 fingers and 10 toes and expected him to be healthy and well over 9 pounds. Having not attended medical school, and being more punctual for college socials in the quad over chemistry, I felt those tests were the best measurement of my little.
I also distinctly remember in those last couple of minutes I gave full release of any thoughts and control. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so free. What could I really have done in those two minutes? It was all going as planned.
3. Hugs and Kisses:
Congratulations, it’s a boy! You’re a mommy! It really was more a Miranda moment, as baby B was being brought toward me; although, I remember my arms instinctively reaching to hold him. I didn’t have tears and I wasn’t overcome with emotion. I was more in awe of this creature and couldn’t wait to meet him face to face. This creature who chose me as his mommy. This creature who made me wait 41.5 weeks to meet him! This creature whom I would share an unconditional love with. This creature where I could do no wrong in his eyes, and could truly just be me. A creature who immediately pulled the oxygen tube out of my nose and started suckling on my chin. This creature whom I would call my beautiful son.
I don’t even remember him crying, except for maybe a split second. I just felt a calm and mutual knowing that both of us were exactly where we were supposed to be, together, and in each other’s arms. We did it!
4. Unconditional Love and Acceptance:
Unknowingly, every experience I had gone through in life had prepared me for that moment and now, a year and a half later. With the birth of my little, I have embraced more of whom I’ve always been. I have given myself permission to be vulnerable to my nurturing side no matter the outcome. I have accepted to love fiercely and unconditionally. I have learned to embrace my confidence, to follow my instincts and to know if it can be imagined it is possible. It’s amazing how a baby’s trust and innocence validates what you’ve known your whole life but you have not yet been able to accept and embrace.
Becoming a mommy didn’t make me a new person. Becoming a mommy allowed me to accept and love everything I’m about and in turn that is what I will role model. With this promise to us both…
I will make you laugh (and I will make myself laugh). I will love you (and myself). I will support you (and myself). I will guide you (and myself). I will be a voice of reason for you (and myself). I will be accepting of you (and myself). I will hug you, squeeze you and kiss you. And we will get through anything that comes our way with grace and resilience!
So, hitch your wagon to a star mon petit prince, the world and all the love in it is yours forever and always. While it’s not always easy, it’s possible! While it’s not always supported by everyone, it’s rewarding to show others it can be done. While others may be watching, do it because you want it for you! And love wins Every. Damn. Time!
And this, my love, will be your super power forever and always! Shine bright!
Love Always, mommy.
And to you mommy, who’s reading this, mommy to be, or empowered female: two minutes from now, what can you release? What can you have an instinctive confidence in knowing? What can you identify as unconditional love and acceptance within yourself and where does your imagination take you?! What love note can you write to yourself? That mindset may impact not only you but generations to come! We sure do learn what we live!
You are loved! #lovewins Xoxo
I leave you with the insightful words of Dorothy Law Nolte my mom discovered and, shared with me as a child as words to live by. Thank you mom! Here’s to another generation!
Children Learn What They Live! By, Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.